Military Words of Wisdom

[bistro]

I am retired Army and every once in a while an old Army buddy will send me cool stuff. Here's the latest...Military Words of Wisdom:

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur
"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."
"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop
"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."
"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F.Crickmore (test pilot)
"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
"Even with ammunition, the USAF is just another expensive flying club."
"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, ... The pilot dies."
"Never trade luck for skill."
The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are:
"Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...! "
"Friendly fire - isn't"
"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime."
Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970 "If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?".
The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!"
Hey, you're going to hurt someone if you keep doing that!!! - Harry Seacomb upon coming under German fire whilst in the desert relieving himself against a cactus; he described it as 'the moment the war got personal'.
Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit the ground. - US Air Force
If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with green, baggy skin.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy someone else to shoot at.
"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - US Marine Corps
Who cares if a laser guided 500 lb bomb is accurate to within 9 feet?

[Train]

A few more to send to him to add to the good list.

"AIM TOWARDS THE ENEMY." - Instruction printed on US Army Rocket Launcher

"WHEN THE PIN IS PULLED, MR. GRENADE IS NO LONGER OUR FRIEND." - US Marine Corps journal

"CLUSTER BOMBING FROM B-52s IS VERY, VERY ACCURATE. THE BOMBS ARE GUARANTEED TO ALWAYS HIT THE GROUND." - USAF Ammo Troop

"IF THE ENEMY IS IN RANGE, SO ARE YOU." - US Army Infantry Journal

"A SLIPPING GEAR COULD LET YOUR M203 GRENADE LAUNCHER FIRE WHEN YOU LEAST EXPECT IT. THAT WOULD MAKE YOU QUITE UNPOPULAR IN WHAT'S LEFT OF YOUR UNIT." - US Army's Magazine of Preventive Maintenance

"IT IS GENERALLY INADVISABLE TO EJECT DIRECTLY OVER THE AREA YOU'VE JUST BOMBED." - US Air Force manual

"TRY TO LOOK UNIMPORTANT; THE ENEMY MAY BE LOW ON AMMO." - US Army Infantry Journal

"BRAVERY IS BEING THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS YOU'RE AFRAID." - David Hackworth

"IF YOUR ATTACK IS GOING TOO WELL, YOU'RE WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH." - US Army Infantry Journal

"NO COMBAT-READY UNIT HAS EVER PASSED INSPECTION." - Joe Gay

"DON'T DRAW FIRE; IT IRRITATES THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU." - US Army Infantry Journal



The Law did have that phrase on it.

[Crimson Blonde]

Those are great

[SuperSparks]

And from the other side:

"Do not touch anything unnecessarily. Beware of pretty girls in dance halls and parks who may be spies, as well as bicycles, revolvers, uniforms, arms, dead horses, and men lying on roads -- they are not there accidentally."
Soviet infantry manual, issued in the 1930's


One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine...
- From a Soviet Junior Lt's Notebook

[jmtjet]

My favorite Don Rumsfeld quote:

Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns; there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns - the ones we don't know we don't know.
Donald Rumsfeld
This comment before the war in Iraq won Rumsfeld the 2003 Award for Gobbledygook from the Plain English Campaign