It's frday night and you know what time that means boyz and girlz.

[Prophet]

Although I think George Bush jokes are much more funny and irreverent, the Prez's popularity points are running through the roof right now so I'll post a couple French jokes to be, "politically correct".

Q. How many frenchmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. One, because he holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Q: What do women who are snipers in the French military use as camouflage? A: Their armpits


"I just love the French. They taste like chicken!"
---- Hannibal Lecter

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
---Mark Twain

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--- General George S. Patton

"The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."

--- P.J O'Rourke (1989)


The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged French woman and the seat was being used by her dog.

The weary traveler asked, "Ma'am, please move your dog. I need that seat." The French woman looked down her nose at the American, sniffed and said, You Americans. Your are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little FiFi is using that seat?"

The American walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog. Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there?". I'm very tired."

The French woman wrinkled her nose and snorted "You Americans! Not only are you rude, you are also arrogant....Imagine!"

The American didn't say anything else, he leaned over, picked up the dog, tossed it out the window of the train and sat down in the empty seat. The woman shrieked and railed, and demanded that someone defend her honor and chastise the American.

An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You know,sir, you Americans do seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You eat holding the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, Sir, you've thrown the wrong bitch out the window."

[jmtjet]

The shortest book ever written was:
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>
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A list of the French war heros

[piknic]

I'm sure the French members of this board will find amusement in the swaggering arrogance of the author of the above joke.

[MACH2]

The eu french 2nd generation don't understand we financed the allied drive in WWII including equipment and rebuilt their nations postwar, and eventually forgave their debts. i.e. Germany "WE DIDN'T KNOW".. [we forgave their debt, too. so they charge us 35k for a supedup corsair.]

Seriously we have a couple of eel farmers here who raise them and probably sell about 500,000 annually to france and those numbers are 2 years old. I'm sure we export snails and mushrooms by the droves from all over the N.East. I've tried to find a website but I guess if you raise eels.. you don't need much for technology. I'm thinking about it myself.

"Mushrooms and Snails and eels" (oh my!!)

P.S. I don't think there are any EU french posters here, at least ones who post often. There too busy investing there money over here so they have something leftover.

[Nick Grana]

I'm sure the French members of this board will find amusement in the swaggering arrogance of the author of the above joke.

Probably so.
I don't know why the American people down the French just
becauses it opposes the war with Iraq. Big deal.
We're in it now anyway.

Besides supporting, totally, our soldiers and those fighting
by our side, we could pick on something quite bigger.
China, for example.
Without China there would be no Christmas.
They hate our ideals and way of life and are totally aligned with Russia in opposing the war.
Yet we continue to buy every piece of junk one billion people
can make. Money talks and B/S walks.
Prioritize.
Made in China versus Made in the U.S.A.
'nuff said.
RVN 2/66-8-67 1st Infantry Division

[MACH2]

oh hell we're kicking the crap... out what we come up against..

"wellllllll bobb bboobboobobob " welllllllll nowwwww it's aaaaaaaa fifffffferrrrernt storrryy... kkkkkkk thheee aaaa 1000's arreee kiiickkking assss and thattsa alllll I cannnns saaaya

are you still there..

yesssssssss are you a dubb ****tttlsesss... we wwwwant toooo herrereee a poooolkaaa befffrore weee keeeel sommme bodddey..

beeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr... poooooooollllllllkkaaaaaa!!!!!!...

mach

[MACH2]

hepa hepa gottchaa on thatt one on... 'going to drop some southern swine for barbecue..' pdapapappa (helicopters)

hell these tv.. wanna bee's never tasted goat and camel.. errr we need to ship a lot of cattle over therreeeee....... lololllll...

mach

[MACH2]

yes thats our last resort.. oh geezz not north carolina?? pork?? geez we just buy up all the live pork and parachute them into bagdad.. "oh my.. will they be fashionable pork?" no .

[MACH2]

theeeyyy arreee pinnnk.. a bitttt pinkkkier thhannn mooosttt...... butt shoulllddnt' bee bad tasstingg.... wannnnnaa stayyy awaaay frrommm the barrrbecuer.. cannn gettt nassstryy.

mach

[Prophet]

Did a search for French Military Victories:

[MACH2]

prophet understands the 'fight' stalworth and loyal.. not inbred but just gusts fight. he's living it as it goes on.. I do too though I never saw it happen.

mach