SW, THAT should be a sure-fire cure for always.
Good to see a post from you.
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SW, THAT should be a sure-fire cure for always.
Good to see a post from you.
Yes it should. :) Thanks buf,I have a little free time today.
Excellent deterrent Sidewinder :)
TEk
Self-explanatory
Teknophobia, Yes it should work.:D Thanks for the f/b... Sidewinder. o and buf good one.Keep them coming.;)
Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lanter and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.
The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.
The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water." :)
SW, this "could be" a parallel to yours above and would definitely affect you good folks out west :D
OHOH....LET'S BE CAREFUL LESS WE OFFEND SOMEONE....
A man walked into a curio shop in Galveston, Texas. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very life-like, life-size bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it looked so striking that he decided he must have it.
He took it to the owner and asked "How much is the bronze rat?"
"Twelve dollars for the rat, a hundred dollars if you bring it back," said the owner.
The man gave the shop owner twelve dollars. "I'll take the rat; and I won't be bringing it back."
As he walked down the street carrying the bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of alleys and sewers, and began following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting, so he began to walk a little bit faster.
Within a couple of blocks, the group of rats behind him grew to over a hundred, and they began squealing.
He started to trot towards the Harbor. He took a nervous look around and saw that the rats numbered in the thousands, maybe in the millions, and they were all squealing and coming towards him faster and faster.
Terrified, he ran to the edge of the water and threw the bronze rat as far out into the Harbor as he could.
Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the water after it, and were drowned.
The man walked back to the curio shop. "Aha," said the owner, "You're bringing it back!"
"Actually, no," said the man. "I came back to see how much you want for that little bronze Mexican over there!"
Good one buf. LOL :D
Home Remedies!
1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF.
2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK.
4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEE D FOR A FEW MINUTES, TH US REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
8. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
That's me---going down the stairs ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Train
> Service
>
> At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word 'service.'
>
> 'It's the act of doing things for other people.'
>
> Then I heard these terms which reference the word SERVICE:
>
> Internal Revenue Service
> Postal Service
> Telephone Service
> Civil Service
> City & County Public Service
> Customer Service
> Service Stations
>
> Then I became confused about the word 'service.' This is not what I thought 'service' meant.
>
> So today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few of his cows. BAM! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us..
>
> I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.
THAT explains it better than I ever could :D
Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out.
Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the BacaRdi BreeZers.
Incredibly drunk and walking home they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.
One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.
Her friend however was wearing a rather expen$ive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them.
She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.
After the girls did their business they proceeded to go home.
The next day one of the women's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said:
These girl nights have got to stop!
I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!
'That's nothing' said the other husband, 'Mine came back with a card stuck to her ass that said.....
'From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you.'
**bumping**
Ok, it's an oldie but a goodie... imo..
Did you hear about the Insomniac, Agnostic, Dyslexic?
He lays awake at night......
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Wondering
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Is there really a DOG?
OK bump it back down where it belongs... I'll get my coat !