LMAO. very funny there Buf, and i like the avatar!
also that advert posted by 'stewart borland' is great. but somehow i don't think it will be on TV any time soon, pity.
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LMAO. very funny there Buf, and i like the avatar!
also that advert posted by 'stewart borland' is great. but somehow i don't think it will be on TV any time soon, pity.
Bob was excited about his new .338 rifle and decided to try bear
hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot
it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to
see a big black bear.
The black bear said "That was a very bad mistake. That bear was my
cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death
or we have sex." After considering briefly, Bob decided to accept the
latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Bob. Even
though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear
and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder.
This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said
"That was a big mistake, Bob. That bear was my cousin and you've got
two choices - either I maul you to death or we have rough sex." Again,
Bob thought it was better to co-operate with the grizzly bear than be
mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Bob.
Although he survived, it took several months before Bob fully
recovered. Now Bob was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska
and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet
revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He
turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there.
The polar bear looked at him and said "Admit it Bob, you don't come here
for the hunting, do you?"
:D
Once upon a time, after a couple had been married a few years, they decided to have a baby, and they had a baby boy. They were having trouble coming up with a name, because neither of them wanted the baby named after them, in fact, they didn't want their baby named after anybody. They wanted their baby to have a name that nobody ever had, so they finally agreed to name him "Odd."
After they told the doctor and nurses the name that they had chosen for their baby boy, they all had quite a laugh. But the laughter never stopped, because once little Odd started to school, he was teased about his name from first grade, until he graduated. Still the teasing and laughter continued, poor Odd was teased through out his college years, until he graduated.
Once Odd graduated from college, and started his chosen career in life, Odd assumed his colleagues at his work place would be mature enough that he would no longer be teased about his name. But he was wrong, the teasing and laughter went on until Odd finally retired from his career.
After Odd had retired, he thought that he'd finally escaped the teasing about his name, but he was wrong again. When people would see him around town, they would say things like, hey Odd, is your last name Ball by chance? Or, are you the odd man out? Then the laughter.
Finally, after Odd had become very old and feeble and lying on his death bed with his wife at his side, he spoke to his wife and said, I would like to ask you a big favor dear. His wife ask, what would that be dear? And Odd said, as you know, I've went through all kinds of torment and humiliation all of my life, because of my miserable name. So please don't let them put my name on my headstone, just the date of my birth, and the date of my passing. Don't even put my last name on it, because I don't want anybody to know that it's me. His wife reluctantly honored his request, and his headstone only had the date of his birth, and the date of his passing.
But to this day, as people are strolling through the cemetery, and see the headstone with the two dates and no name, they say, "Isn't that odd?"
:D :D
Q: How to you make Holy Water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.
People here in Texas have trouble with all those "shalls"
and "shall nots" in the Ten Commandments.
Folks here just aren't used to talking in those terms. So,
some folks out in west Texas got together and translated the
"King James" into "King Ranch" language:
The Cowboy's Ten Commandments
(posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie,
Texas)
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No tellin' tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meetin'.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin.'
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
Now that's kinda plain an' simple, don't ya think?
Y'all have a good day.
I PASS ON THE GOOD ONES WHEN I GET THEM!!
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed; I think there's somebody under it... I'm going crazy!"
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
"How much do you charge?"
"A hundred dollars per visit."
"I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.
Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street.. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
"For a hundred buck! s a visit? A bartender cured me for $10."
"Is that so? How?"
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"
Being British
Being British is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.
And the most British thing of all? Suspicion of anything foreign.
Oh and......
Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage..
Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.
NOT TO MENTION...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.
18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of Control Scalextric cars.
and finally.........
In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
I am proud to be British !!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
Liam
lol. so true. but you scared me there. i have done that battery thing with my tongue :p
I'm sure the "Not to Mention..." is UK, but the preceding part was in Reader's Digest® magazine several years ago, titled "Being American." :D
Yeah, I wanted to tell him that I thought it first began in the U.S. of A.
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates, and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed.
Now they're in heaven, and God is sitting on the great golden throne.
God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?"
Al replies, "Well, I believe that the internal combustion Engine is the root of all evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs and that if any more Freon's is used, the whole earth will become a greenhouse and we'll all die."
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, I can live with that. Come and sit at my left."
God then addresses Bill Clinton. "Bill, what do you believe in?"
Bill Clinton replies, "Well, I believe in power to the people. I think people should be able to make their own choices about things, and that no one should ever be able to tell someone else what to do. I also believe in feeling people's pain, but not inhaling."
God thinks for a second and says, "Okay, that sounds good. Come and sit at my right."
God then addresses Bill Gates. "Bill Gates, what do you believe in?"
Bill Gates said, "I believe you're in my chair
IS SHE A BLOND???
A noted psychiatrist was a guest at an academic function,
and his hostess naturally broached the subject in which
the doctor was most at ease. "Would you mind telling me,
Doctor," she asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency
in somebody who appears completely normal?"
"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question
which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the
person hesitates, that puts you on the track."
"What sort of question?"
"Well, you might ask him, 'Captain Cook made three trips
around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'"
The hostess thought a moment, then said with a nervous
laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you?
I must confess I don't know much about history."
Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I
never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids
from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer. :eek:
WITCH! :mad:
OK, this should rightly follow GetaGrrrip's above joke:
I'm so pissed with politicians, lawyers, and doctors who no longer seem to be unable to make a decisive decision anymore, all claiming to be hampered by the Privacy of Information Law. So I have drafted my own living will.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
New Living Will Form
I, __________________________, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to
be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead
politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on
it or lawyers/doctors interested in simply running up the bills.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of
the following:
______a Bloody Mary
______a Margarita
______a Scotch and soda
______a Martini
______a Vodka and Tonic
______a Steak
______Lobster or crab legs
______The remote control
______a Bowl of ice cream
______The sports page
______Chocolate
______Sex
it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.
When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person
and attending physicians to pull the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a
day.
Signature: ___________________________
Drunk People
A man and his wife are awakened, at 3 o'clock in the morning by a loud pounding
on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the
pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3 o'clock in the morning!
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife.
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3 o'clock in the morning and it is pouring out there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife.
"Can't you remember, about three months ago when we broke down, and those two
guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes" comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?", calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband
"Over here on the swing!", replies the drunk
:D
:D Some great jokes here. LMAO I Need A Push
...and ya gotta love Letterman
Top Ten Things Overheard During George W. Bush's Trip To Cancun
10. "Feels great to get away after three straight weeks of work"
9. "As president of the United States, I pledge to do whatever's necessary to help the Cancunians!"
8. "Couldn't we have stayed home and gone to Chi-Chi's?"
7. "Cozumel? Isn't that the chick I made Secretary of State?"
6. "When do I get to meet Zorro?"
5. "Holy crap, how'd they move these pyramids from Egypt?"
4. "I'll have a non-alcoholic pina colada...just kidding, juice me up, Pepe!"
3. "NAFTA? Don't they make auto parts?"
2. "Secret service! He's choking on a nacho"
1. "Once you get a little buzz going, my poll numbers don't look so bad"
Top Ten Reasons Dick Cheney Won't Resign
10. Trying to fix up Condi Rice with his daughter
9. Turns out when you shoot somebody, if you're not vice president, you gotta do time
8. Bush leaves at two every day and then it's margaritas and Fritos
7. Set the solitare high score on his office computer
6. Wants to see if he can help Bush get his approval rating under ten
5. Too hard to give up Vice Presidential Discount at D.C. area Sam Goody stores
4. Wants to stay on the job until every country in the world hates us
3. Extra-zappy White House defibrillators
2. Undisclosed location has foosball and whores
1. Why quit when things are going so well?
He should talk! Every other week is repeats because Letterman's on vacation...Quote:
10. "Feels great to get away after three straight weeks of work"
Well yea..but everything on the telly is mostly repeats unless you're into reality shows. Since last fall all I get is repeats on cable, it used to be that it was during the summer we had the repeats. Now it's all year. I find myself only watching the Comedy Channel, Daily Show, Letterman on occasion [therefore I haven't seen any repeats there], and mostly the History Channel. If I'm up at 11:00pm I watch China Beach which is all repeats, I missed most of them the first time round as we didn't have cable up here. Beats the hell out of watching the 11:00 news. Which is also all repeats of the same ol'bs. We get the same ol'lies over and over!! ;) All for the low low discounted price of $480. per year. I would get rid of it if not for hooking up my stereo and getting all the FM stations via the cable, otherwise no radio.
OK...way OT.
BTW: Big John..that joke you posted about the Dui Kentuck Style was priceless. I printed it out, took it down to our local pub, everyone loved it so much the management posted it. We have a local here that used to be a real p***tank, he quite drinking two years ago, had many run ins with the police. He has now volunteered to be our designated decoy. ;)
All kiddin aside... I live two blocks from the pub...short walk.
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
Annoyed, the wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My Gosh!" says the wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?" :rolleyes:
My apologies in advance... :o
A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves.
"What are you doing in there?" she asked.
The rabbit replied:
"This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?", to which the lady replied
"Yes."
"Well," the rabbit said,
"I'm westing."
Sorry... I couldn't stop myself.
Have a Wonderful Easter!
lol. i'll let you off but only because it's easter ;) .
Okay :)
The men are going to like this one!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes
to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing ***ual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"
I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having **x tonight either....but at least that witch knows I'm smarter than her. :p
Charlotte Air Traffic Control Center:
Charlotte ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911--You are cleared to land eastbound on runway 9R."
Saudi Air: "Thank you Charlotte ATC. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R -Allah be Praised!!"
Charlotte ATC "Tower to Iran Air 711--You are cleared to land westbound on runway 9R."
Iran Air: "Thank you Charlotte ATC. We are cleared to land on infidel's runway 9R. -Allah is Great !!"
Pause: Static.............
Saudi Air: "CHARLOTTE ATC! CHARLOTTE ATC!!!"
Charlotte ATC: "Go ahead Saudi Air 911?"
Saudi Air: "YOU HAVE CLEARED BOTH OUR AIRCRAFT FOR THE SAME RUNWAY GOING IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS!!! WE ARE ON A COLLISION COURSE!!! INSTRUCTIONS PLEASE!!!
Charlotte ATC: Well bless your hearts. Y'all be careful now and tell Allah "hey" for us -- ya hear?
Moral: DON'T MESS WITH US
George W. Bush goes to a primary school to talk to the kids to get a little PR.
One little boy puts up his hand and George asks him his name.
"Stanley," responds the little boy.
"And what is your question, Stanley?"
"I have 3 questions. First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN?
Second, why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
And third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?"
Just then, the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess.
When they resume George says, "OK, where were we? Oh, that's right: question time. Who has a question?"
Another little boy puts up his hand. George points him out and asks him his name.
"Steve," he responds. And what is your question, Steve?"
"Actually, I have 5 questions.
First, why did the USA invade Iraq without the support of the UN? Second,
Why are you President when Al Gore got more votes?
Third, whatever happened to Osama Bin Laden?
Fourth, why did the recess bell go off 20 minutes early? :rolleyes:
And fifth, what the hell happened to Stanley?" :cool:
Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!
Jack sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, Spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks,"son...what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M.., drunk and out of your mind. You broke
some furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door."
So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!"
Broken furniture - $85.26
Hot Breakfast - $4.20
Red Rose bud -$3.00
Two Aspirins -$.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless.
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says: "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well, Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."
Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."
Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowance.. Jenny makes 5 bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week.
That's about 60 bucks a month and that should do us just fine."
By this time Mr. Smith is a little shocked that BRUCE has put so much thought into this. He thinks for a moment trying to come up with something that Bruce won't have an answer to. After a second, Mr. Smith says: "Well, Bruce, it seems like you have got everything all figured out. I just have one more question for you. What will you do if the two of you should have little ones of your own?"
Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far..."
Now Mr. Smith doesn't think the little s**t is so adorable anymore . :D
You gotta love this guys explanation of hell.......
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls
are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" :D
Sidewinder, I have read your last joke several times and I still smile when I read the last two lines :D :D
And GetaGrrrip, I am still looking to hear/read Teresa's input in your joke.
lol. i think he deserved that A. but he blatantly only put effort into the explanation to gloat that he slept with Teresa ;) .
Buf and Judge John - Let me state this:
MY NAME IS NOT TERESA! :p
:D
Guess this short joke will verify that gas prices have gone sky high:
I went into the 7-11 gas station today and
asked for five dollars worth of gas.
The clerk ****** and gave me a receipt.
lol. managed to figure the joke out even if it is censored out.
Yeah, how about that AND I censored it myself when I put it up with the thought that one would figure it OUT. I thought it was funny :D
Ventriloquist and the Indian
A ventriloquist cowboy walks into town and sees an Indian sitting on his porch. He figures he'll have a little fun...
Cowboy: "Hey, cool dog. Mind if I speak to him?"
Indian: "Dog no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"
Dog: "Doin' alright."
Indian: shows extreme look of shock
Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" pointing at Indian.
Dog: "Yep"
Cowboy: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Indian: shows look of disbelief
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Indian: "Horse no talk."
Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool."
Indian: extreme look of shock
Cowboy: "Is this your owner? "pointing at Indian.
Horse: "Yep."
Cowboy: "How's he treat you?"
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Indian: shows total look of amazement
Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Indian: "Sheep Lie!" :eek:
Why was the computer tired after it's long journey.
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Because it had a hard drive. :p
Nix,
That's a groaner! Almost as bad as my Easter joke, but not quite ;)
You want a groaner? Ok.
"A rabbi and a priest are chatting on a park bench. The priest asks the rabbi "Why don't you ever eat ham?", and the rabbi says "Well it's against my religion".
Then the rabbi asks the priest "How come you never go out with a girl?", and the priest says "Well that's against my religion", and the rabbi says "you oughta try it, it's better than ham".
Okay, that one's worse than my Easter one! :pQuote:
Originally Posted by JPnyc
OK, you have forced me to "issue" my groaner (it's a puzzle)
If you were a Rose and I were a Rose, what would we be?
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We would be a pair of Bloomers :D :D :eek: