Anyone heard any new jokes lately?

When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,
"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a
sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep
every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.

Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and 55" plasma screen
TV,but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you
are not holding up your side of things.

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a
hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again
be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa
bed and no tv. Aren't older women great. They really know how to solve
your mid-life crises....

Excellent Poppy!!! :D

LOL, well I guess she told you. :D BJ

poppy4, why did you tell everyone my life's story. You promised :( :D

Awwww buf, geeeez.....I'm sorry.... forgot it was a secret.. :o :D

Not a problem!! I'm gonna email her the joke in just a bit. I think that will cover me ;)

If she throws you out buf, you can share my bachelor pad....you'll just have to come north and bring your long johns....:D

Weather here now: :D
Overcast

26°F
(-3°C)
Humidity: 63 %
Wind Speed: SW 18 MPH
Barometer: 30.15" (1021.7 mb)
Dewpoint: 15°F (-9°C)
Wind Chill: 13°F (-11°C

Right nigh neighborly of you my friend. About the long johns; is that the button down the front and/or with the trap door in the rear?? On second (and 3rd thought) I think I'll stay put, tuff it out and enjoy my warmer weather without the long johns. Of course, now if you wanna come south, we'll put you up----where I don't know but we will put you up(to something). :D
She and I were in Daytona Beach today and the wind chill there is pretty darn cool; only got cut twice on the arm. Gotta learn to wear long sleeves one of these days.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by buf

where I don't know but we will put you up(to something).

---

Thanks Kindly, but I'm already into something..:D

Buf that rather sharp weather.
12/4/06 Daytona Beach International Airport in Daytona Beach, FL
8:53:00 PM CURRENT
Temperature(°F) 57.0 Humidity (%) 65.9 46.6 / 93.8 0.0
Wind (mph) N 7.9 N 25.2
Daily Rain (") 0.00 No Rain Today
Partly cloudy. Lows in the lower 50s. North winds 5 to 10 mph.

Try here, it might do yah.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by poppy4

Thanks Kindly, but I'm already into something..:D

---

Understood poppy---subject closed!!!

Well, I did say I only got cut twice by those cold winds. Just for the record Train, I try to refrain from reading/listening to weather forecasts and current info. We had no hurricanes this year so weather has been a low key subject here. It is never too late for a h'cane tho and may it remain that way for always. And I don't want your weather EITHER!!!!!

LOL, that ain't no where near here.

Subject: Good things to consider



1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.

13. Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game." when his team is winning.

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

17. Do you realize that in about 20 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Mini.

19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.

Oldie but goodie
A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly
glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer
magazine He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently
raps
on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window . "Uh, yes,
officer?"
The cop says: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says:
"And her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."

Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car,
at night in a Lover's lane....and nothing obscene is happening!
The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says :"I'm 22, sir."
The cop asks: "And her ... what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies:

"She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."