Quotes For The Day

If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.
- Ludwig Wittgenstein

Education is a state-controlled manufactory of echoes.
- Norman Douglas

Where facts are few, experts are many.
- Donald R. Gannon

First love is a kind of vaccination which saves a man from catching the complaint a second time.
- Honore de Balzac

If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?
- Charles M. Schulz

Confusion is always the most honest response.
- Marty Indik

Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
- William Dement

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
- Jackie Mason

"That's the thing with suicide pacts. Sometimes they only really work if they catch you by surprise."
- Randy K. Milholland

"Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else."
- James M. Barrie

"All science is either physics or stamp collecting."
- Ernest Rutherford

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Oil prices have fallen lately. We include this news for the benefit of gas stations, which otherwise wouldn't learn of it for six months.
- Bill Tammeus

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.
- Peter da Silva

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

'Whom are you?' he asked, for he had attended business college.
- George Ade

Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity than they really are.
- Henry Fielding

A poem is no place for an idea.
- Edgar Watson Howe

No wise man ever wished to be younger.
- Jonathan Swift

I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
- Umberto Eco

"Who is more busy than he who hath least to do?"
- John Clarke

"Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in."
- Leonardo da Vinci

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--/ I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference."
- Robert Frost

Homer[Ghost]: "Marge, I need to do one good deed to get into heaven"
Marge: Well, I have a list of chores, 1. Paint The House, 2. Clean The Garage, 3. Tidy...
Homer[Ghost]: Woah, woah, woah, i'm just tryin' to get in, i'm not tryin' to run for Jesus. :D


Liam

lmao Liam ..... thats great :D

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want 2000 of something.
- Mitch Hedberg

The trouble with jogging is that, by the time you realize you're not in shape for it, it's too far to walk back.
- Franklin P. Jones

All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced on them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else.
- HL Mencken

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.
- Bertrand Russell

A facility for quotation covers the absence of original thought.
- Dorothy L. Sayers

"At the age of eleven or thereabouts women acquire a poise and an ability to handle difficult situations which a man, if he is lucky, manages to achieve somewhere in the later seventies."
- PG Wodehouse

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
- Mae West

"Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use."
- Wendell Johnson

"Before a war military science seems a real science, like astronomy; but after a war it seems more like astrology."
] - Rebecca West

"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
- Fran Lebowitz

"I not only use all the brains that I have, but all that I can borrow."
- Woodrow Wilson

"I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any thinking going on inside it."
- Terry Pratchett

"Never have children, only grandchildren."
- Gore Vidal

"Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature."
- Kin Hubbard