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The Brick Test: Job Qualifications
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates into the room and close the door. Leave them alone, and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation:
If they are counting the bricks, put them in the accounting department.
If they are recounting them, put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in operations.
If they are sleeping, put them in security.
If they have piled the bricks at the door, making access impossible and your life frustrating, put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle, put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in sales.
If they are staring out of the window, put them in strategic planning.
If they have already left for the day, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in top management.
Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Congress.
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A South American scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has
discovered that people with lower than average brain function and sexual
activity read forums with their hand on the mouse.
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Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
:D
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Suppose you are an Idot...
and suppose you are a member of congress..But, I repeat my-self...Mark Twain
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Thank ya'll
Thank You for the b-day greating... :D
Would tell ya how OLDer than dirt...I am..
But, I don't think the numbers go THAT high..
guess that makes me a no a-count... :p
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So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor.... The following were taken from actual police car videos around the country:
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a
9mm bullet fired from my gun."
#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I
guess that means I can write anything I want on the
ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor,
but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that
I am the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you
not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat
or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy,
and step in monkey $#*!."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we want."
#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone
who can post your bail."
AND yes, the best one (although, I really like #8)...
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
You're right, we don't...sign here."
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A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making truck driver
steps next to him, grabs his drink and gulps it down in one swig. The poor little guy starts crying. "Come on man, I was just giving you a hard time," says the truck driver. "I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man crying."
This is the worst day of my life," says the little guy between sobs. "I can't do anything right. I overslept and was late to an important meeting, so my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car was stolen and I have no insurance. I grabbed a cab home but, after the cab left, I discovered my wallet was still in the cab.
At home I found my wife in bed with the gardener. So I came to this bar trying to work up the courage to put an end to my life. And then you show up and drink the damn poison.
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Thats a good one Train. :D SW
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1 Attachment(s)
Hey Train, I liked that one also.
I got stopped for speeding and had almost talked my way out of a ticket----until the policeman looked into my back seat and saw my dog.
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:eek: Wow, that had to be some terrific G-Force happening in that back seat.:D SW
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Zero to the speed of sound within a car lenght ehh?
Figures
LOL
