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A Cowboy Story
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath - when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old brief case. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an IRS ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.
"Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work. You have three wishes."
"I'm not falling for this", said the cowboy. "I'm not going to trust an IRS genie."
She smiled and said, "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!"
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. He said, "OK, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink." ***POOF*** The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen. And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies.
The genie said, "OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish."
"My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams." ***POOF**** The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems.
The genie said, "OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!"
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says... "I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me."
***POOF*** He turned into a ......
The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached
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What??? Chocolate?? A Mirror??
:D
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I was afraid I would be edited---but you got it GetaGrrrip!
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I've never been good at hangman :D
lol :p
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That's a take on the old joke about the Arab And The Genie. This animation was making it's rounds about four years ago or so.
If it's not appropriate feel free to delete.
http://www.atomfilms.com/af/content/atom_260
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Mark Your Calendars For This Saturday.
As You May Already Know, It Is A Sin For A Taliban
Male To See Any Woman Other Than His Wife Naked, And
That He Must Commit Suicide If He Does.
So
This Saturday At 4 P.m. Eastern Time All American
Women Are Asked To Walk Out Of Their House Completely
Naked To Help Weed Out Any Neighborhood
Terrorists. Circling Your Block For One Hour Is
Recommended.
For This Anti-terrorist Effort. All Men Are To
Position Themselves In Lawn Chairs In Front Of Their
House To Prove They Are Not Taliban, And To
Demonstrate They Think It's Okay To See Nude Women
Other Than Their Wife And To Show Support For All
American Women.
Since The Taliban Also Does Not Approve Of Alcohol, A
Cold 6-pack At Your Side Is Further Proof Of Your
Anti-taliban Sentiment.
The American Government Appreciates Your Efforts To
Root Out
Terrorists
And
Applauds Your Participation In This Anti-terrorist
Activity.
God Bless America.
It Is Your Patriotic Duty To Pass This On.
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Is this a "politically correct thing to do"?
Well, even if it isn't, I'll do it---err watch that is :D
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My father received this from AARP, he just told me about it over the phone.
"Exercises for seniors to build muscles:
Stand on a comfortable surface where you have room to either side of you, take a 5lb potato sack in each hand, and raise your arms till they're parallel with the ground, and try to hold that position as long as you can.
Once you can hold them for a full minute, graduate to the 10lb potato sacks, and again, build up the process until you can hold them outstretched for a full minute.
Then likewise continue until you can do this with 50, and then 100lb potato sacks!
Once you can do that for a full minute with 2 100lb potato sacks, put a potato in each of the sacks!
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HARD TO FIND
Two guys from Minnesota are sittin' in a boat on Mud Lake fishing and suckin' down beers when all of a sudden Mike says, "I think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to me in over six months."
Harry sips his beer and says, "You better think it over - women like that are hard to find."
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hahahaha!! Thats excellent buf :D
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Work vs. Prison
Work vs. Prison
IN PRISON..........you spend the majority of your time in an 10X10 cell.
AT WORK............you spend the majority of your time in an 8X8
cubicle.
IN PRISON.........you get three meals a day.
AT WORK...........you get a break for one meal and you have to pay for
it.
IN PRISON..........you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK............you get more work for good behavior.
IN PRISON..........the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK............you must often carry a security card and open all the
doors for yourself.
IN PRISON..........you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK...........you could get fired for watching TV and playing games.
IN PRISON.........you get your own toilet.
AT WORK..........you have to share the toilet with some people who pee
on the seat.
IN PRISON..........they allow
your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK............you
aren't even supposed to speak to your family.
IN PRISON........all expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work
required.
AT WORK............you get to pay all your expenses to go to work, and
they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
IN PRISON..........you spend most of your life inside bars wanting to
Get out.
AT WORK .......you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go
inside bars.
IN PRISON ........you must deal with sadistic wardens.
AT WORK..........they are called managers. :D
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hahaha :D ........ ain't that the truth :D
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A lotta parallels there poppy4 but you know what, I'll stay where I am until I screw up my life----too late for that. Been there but ain't done THAT yet.
Most of my life is spent in a 12x25 glass enclosed room WITH a door to the outside of my "BIG" house and a glass door to the inside to go to the food and bathroom!! AC, carpeted floor, recliner and 4 other comfortable chairs and a 32" color TV and with a stand alone VCR Recorder/DVD player. AND MY COMPUTER :p Yep, I'll stay where I am and not trade with "Life on the Outside".
Thanks for helping to further know how fortunate I am. :D
(NOW if only I could have a wife like my Hard to Find joke above, I'd be set.)
NO, my wife CANNOT and WILL NOT be reading this :cool:
