Yeah, yeah, sure Buf :) AND I wasn't peeking!
:D
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Yeah, yeah, sure Buf :) AND I wasn't peeking!
:D
lmaooooooo ...... thank you for that clarification :D
Homer quotes:
"Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddys, and kids with fake IDs."
"Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine."
"Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."
"If you really want something in life you have to work for it. Now quiet, they're about to announce the lottery numbers."
"To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems!"
"I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over 50, and if its speed changed, it would explode! I think it was called, 'The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."
"I want to share something with you - the three sentences that will get you through life. Number one, 'cover for me.' Number two, 'oh, good idea, boss.' Number three, 'it was like that when I got here."
"Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda."
"Step aside everyone! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumps Ville. Population: you."
"Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."
"Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."
"Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such."
"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."
"Stealing! How could you? Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain whats-his-name?"
"We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?"
"Television - teacher, mother, secret lover!"
"Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'sir' without adding, 'you're making a scene."
:D
Liam
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead
sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat
down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket
towards the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in
place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the
theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her
deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for
everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a
nightcap ..... and stay for breakfast.
They have a wonderful, wonderful time. The next morning, she cooks a
gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed!! Everything has
been SO incredible!!!!
"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to
every guy you meet?"
"No," she replies........." She says: "You just happened to catch my
eye."
:eek: :o :rolleyes: :)
A change of pace and BTW, have a safe and happy July 4th
Children in Church
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry"?
"Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that"?
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
https://discussions.virtualdr.com/im...2006/09/25.gif
Thats cute!! :D
GOOD LESSONS IN LIFE.............READ AND TAKE NOTE!
Corporate Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says: "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel," After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob.
After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 dollars and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks: "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
"Great!", the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.:D :D
too funny SW :D
The Office Diet
How to Lose Weight Without Exercise:
Here's the guide to calorie-burning activities and the number
of calories per hour they consume.
Beating around the bush...................... 75
Jumping to conclusions...................... 100
Climbing the walls...................... 150
Swallowing your pride...................... 50
Passing the buck...................... 25
Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight)...................... 50-300
Dragging your heels ...................... 100
Pushing your luck ............................250
Making mountains out of molehills.......................... 500
Hitting the nail on the head .........................50
Wading through paperwork .........................300
Bending over backwards ........................75
Jumping on the bandwagon...................... 200
Balancing the books ......................25
Running around in circles...................... 350
Eating crow .......................225
Tooting your own horn ......................25
Climbing the ladder of success ...........................750
Pulling out the stops .........................75
Adding fuel to the fire .........................160
Wrapping it up at the day's end .......................12
To which you may want to add your own favorite activities, including:
Opening a can of worms .............................50
Putting your foot in your mouth......................... 300
Starting the ball rolling .......................90
Going over the edge ...............................25
Picking up the pieces after............................ 350
Counting eggs before they hatch....................... 6
Calling it quits............................ 2
I have an easier approach, get fatter friends.
lmaooooo ..... that should work too :D
Well I'm on LI. My cable went out again. 3rd time so far this yr. One outage lasted 10 days.
that's a real bummer... :( ....got any rabbit ears?... :rolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by JPnyc
Thats stinks JP :(
I hope it comes back soon
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
:D
:D Now that sounds like 4 new boyfriends :rolleyes: