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As I grow older , I regret to say that a detestable habit of thinking seems to be getting a hold of me.
- H. Rider Haggard
What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? About 30 pounds.
- Cindy Gardner
When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
- Sir Winston Churchill
The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
- Jeff Foxworthy
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.
- Barbara Tober
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.
- Henry David Thoreau
Let's do what one shepherd said to the other shepherd....get the flock outta here.
- Mel Gibson
Liam
"Sometimes what's right isn't as important as what's profitable."
- Trey Parker and Matt Stone
"Mankind have a great aversion to intellectual labor; but even supposing knowledge to be easily attainable, more people would be content to be ignorant than would take even a little trouble to acquire it."
- Samuel Johnson
"Nothing can so alienate a voter from the political system as backing a winning candidate."
- Mark B. Cohen
The bitterness of poor quality remains long after the sweetness of a low price is forgotten
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Sometimes the mind, for reasons we don't necessarily understand, just decides to go to the store for a quart of milk.
- Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.
- Mignon McLaughlin
Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone, and (b) that is not true.
- HL Mencken
The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is lunch.
- Michael Friedman
Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge.
- Paul Gauguin
The journey of a thousand miles begins with just one small step----and a lot of bitching.----Anonymous
thats a good one Bistro :D
Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.
- Tallulah Bankhead
Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
- Russell Baker
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
- Buck Henry
I'm kind of jealous of the life I'm supposedly leading.
- Zach Braff
Every increased possession loads us with new weariness.
- John Ruskin
If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
- Hermann Hesse
The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him.
- Henry Stimson
The average person thinks he isn't.
- Father Larry Lorenzoni
Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pits in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.
- Douglas Adams
To be a book-collector is to combine the worst characteristics of a dope fiend with those of a miser.
- Robertson Davies
I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
- George Burns
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have lost at all.
- Samuel Butler
My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
- Henny Youngman
We are bits of stellar matter that got cold by accident, bits of a star gone wrong.
- Sir Arthur Eddington
Hell hath no fury like a bureaucrat scorned.
- Milton Friedman
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
- Paul Gauguin
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
- Rita Rudner
He who hesitates is a damned fool.
- Mae West
Look foward to your Quotes Crimson , they make my day ..
aww ... I'm glad you enjoy them Doc https://discussions.virtualdr.com/im.../2007/06/1.gif
Every great advance in natural knowledge has involved the absolute rejection of authority.
- Thomas H. Huxley
It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about them.
- Dame Rose Macaulay
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
- Woody Allen
An epigram often flashes light into regions where reason shines but dimly.
- Edwin P. Whipple
Eccentricity is not, as dull people would have us believe, a form of madness. It is often a kind of innocent pride, and the man of genius and the aristocrat are frequently regarded as eccentrics because genius and aristocrat are entirely unafraid of and uninfluenced by the opinions and vagaries of the crowd.
- Edith Sitwell
He may be mad, but there's method in his madness. There nearly always is method in madness. It's what drives men mad, being methodical.
- GK Chesterton
The ultimate result of shielding men from the effects of folly is to fill the world with fools.
- Herbert Spencer
There is no nonsense so gross that society will not, at some time, make a doctrine of it and defend it with every weapon of communal stupidity.
- Robertson Davies
I have long been of the opinion that if work were such a splendid thing the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
- Bruce Grocott
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.
- Unknown
Education is what survives when what has been learned has been forgotten.
- BF Skinner
To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
- Voltaire
A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.
- Henry Fielding
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
- John Barrymore
And this DUMB turd controls OUR future....Quote:
Originally Posted by jmtjet
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by Crimson Blonde
Not everyone can be exactly like me..
sometimes even I have trouble doing it!! Tulluah bankhead...:cool:
MEEEE TOOOO!!!!!:pQuote:
Originally Posted by Tsaphah
Persue those who SEEK the truth...
RUN from those who say they have it !!!
now that's a good one ;)
"I wanna hang a map of the world in my house. Then I'm gonna put pins into all the locations that I've traveled to. But first, I'm gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won't fall down."
- Mitch Hedberg
"One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to do and always a clever thing to say."
- Will Durant
"A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with."
- Tennessee Williams
"It is always easier to believe than to deny. Our minds are naturally affirmative."
- John Burroughs
"With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's world. They have created a land of make-believe that's worse than regular life."
- PJ O'Rourke
"Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250"
- Harper's Index
man's last and highest parting is when, for Gods sake, he takes leave of God
Meister Eckhart
(from my pageaday calendar for today)
To pretend, I actually do the thing: I have therefore only pretended to pretend.
- Jacques Derrida
The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
- Henry Kissinger
In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.
- Douglas Adams
Santa Claus is clearly what Jesus would be if he was real. Nobody would ever consider nailing this omnibenevolent deity to anything, would they? Nor does he hold anything against you longer than a year.
- Steve James
Humankind cannot stand very much reality.
- TS Eliot
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
- Henny Youngman
In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
- Willa Cather
Correct me if I'm wrong, but hasn't the fine line between sanity and madness gotten finer?
- George Price
"The avalanche has started, it is too late for the pebbles to vote."
- Kosh
that's a great one Shinma :D
"Understanding is a three edged sword. Your side, their side, and the truth"
- Kosh
On a more light hearted note,
"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
- Marcus Cole
He who praises you for what you lack wishes to take from you what you have.
- Don Juan Manuel
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
- Fran Lebowitz
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
- Philip K. Dick
Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.
- Frank Dane
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
- HL Mencken
In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.
- Mogens Jallberg
Goods ones Crimson .
There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher.
- Victor Hugo
On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.
- Peter Steiner
I'm a born-again atheist.
- Gore Vidal