The answer to your response Maxx is: punch cards(without hanging chads) were used because of prior "fixes". Didn't need Diedbold. Yeah, I spelt it correctly. :D
Them Dems overwhelmed those "fixed" machines.
Printable View
The answer to your response Maxx is: punch cards(without hanging chads) were used because of prior "fixes". Didn't need Diedbold. Yeah, I spelt it correctly. :D
Them Dems overwhelmed those "fixed" machines.
lgbpop, touché good comeback pardner.
My buddy, Buf...Quote:
Originally Posted by buf
Remember, this is only a joke :)
Enjoy!
OOXXOO
GetaGrrrip
Pic 1 - Gift tag for Buf
http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/6...stume02fy7.jpg
Pic 2 - Buf's Gift
Okay...wouldn't let me put two images in here at the same time, so try this:
Buf's Gift
Seeing that "hugs and kisses" in the note tells me to steer clear of the other pic. Sometimes one gets hugged just so a stab in the back makes it easier for the "stabber". Drat those Republicans and their sympathizers. (No wonder Nixon got tagged as Tricky Dick and was their leader for awhile.) And I truly liked the guy. :p
Awww, come on - look at the other pic :)
UH OH, now I know I ain't gonna go there!! Not often that I turn down a lady; well I have been fooled before. :eek:
Huh..what bothered me WAS the fact a "female lawyer" got on national tv, and STATED she couldn't figure out how to vote...s/he looked like she was in her late 30's+...and a Demmy to boot...Quote:
Originally Posted by buf
Standard protacal has someone at the end of the entry..before you vote ,,,asking if you know how too, vote....Thank G-D i left floor-a-duh....
chads.isn't that what you get after our gvt. does test.. :eek:
DIEold...our gvt. supported them for many years....i know..x-safe techyyy. :D
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really good-looking guy sitting at the bar by himself.
She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer," he says.
She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after realizing that there is no one else worth talking to, goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?"
"Yes, I'll show you."
He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times and comes back in the window.
The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again."
He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building another three times, and comes back in the window.
She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having."
She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies. :(
The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real a**hole when you're drunk."
"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
>I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
>about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
>and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
>of work and their dreams would be shattered.
>Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
>dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
>~ Jack Handy
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the
>hell
>happened to your bra and panties.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
>wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
>going to feel all day. "
>~Frank Sinatra
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
>tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
>~ Henny Youngman
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
>laughing WITH you.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
>~ Stephen Wright
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
>we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit n o sin.
>When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
>get drunk and go to heaven!"
>~ Brian O'Rourke
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
>~ Benjamin Franklin
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a
>retard.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>"Without question, the greatest invention in the
>history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
>wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
>not go nearly as well with pizza."
>~ Dave Barry
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends
>over and over again that you love them.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Sa lvation in a
>can!
>~ Dave Howell
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you ca n
>logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers.
>One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory
>to his buddy Norm.
>Here's how it went:
>
>"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as
>fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the h erd is hunted, it is the
>slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural
>selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and
>health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the
>weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate
>as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we
>know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and
>weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer
>eliminates the weaker brain cells, makin g the brain a faster and more
>efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few
>beers."
>
>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are
>whispering when you are not
TAXES
Accounts Receivable Tax
ATM Tax
Building Permit Tax
Capital Gains Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax Interest expense (tax on the money)
Inventory tax IRS Interest Charges (tax on top of tax)
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Local Income Tax
Luxury Taxes
Mansion Tax
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Septic Permit Tax
Service Charge Taxes
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Taxes (Truckers)
Sales Taxes
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Road Toll Booth Taxes
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and
local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and nonrecurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Toll Bridge Taxes
Toll Tunnel Taxes
Trailer Registration Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago and our nation was the most prosperous in the world, had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world and only one parent had to work to support the family.
What the hell happened?
Phone answering machine:
I am not available right now, but
Thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life.
Please leave a message after the
Beep. If I do not return your call,
You are one of the changes."
~~~~~
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~
I LOVE THIS NEXT ONE!
Bob S
My wife and I had words,
But I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~
Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting.
~~~~~
The irony of life is that, by the time
You're old enough to know your way
Around, you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
Of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~
Every morning is the dawn
of a new error.
~~~~~
The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
"With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, "Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"
For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us....go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us.....pass this on.
Dear Abby,
I've never written to you before, but I really need your advice on what
could be a crucial decision. I've suspected for some time now that my
wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs... Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up.
My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, although when
I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you
don't know them."
I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she
always walks down the drive. However, I can hear a car driving off, as
if she has gotten out of the car around the corner. Why? Maybe she
wasn't in a taxi?
I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she
went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and
why was I checking up on her?
Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife. I think deep
down I just didn't want to know the truth, but last night she went out
again and I decided to really check on her.
I decided I was going to park my Harley Davidson motorcycle next to the
garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole
street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my
Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be
leaking a little oil.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the
dealer?
Thanks, Bob
Ignore
Here's one for those born in the sixties
« on: Today at 17:21:58 »
Reply with quote
Take a few minutes to try this, you may be surprised by the results.
This was developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard University.
Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake.
The average person over 40 years of age can't do it!
1. This is this cat
2. This is is cat
3. This is how cat
4. This is to cat
5. This is keep cat
6. This is an cat
7. This is old cat
8. This is fart cat
9. This is busy cat
10. This is for cat
11. This is forty cat
12. This is seconds cat
Now go back and read aloud the third word in each line from the top down and I bet you can't resist passing it on.
What's in your turkey?
One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.
When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed
a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.
When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to
remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird. With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!"
At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry. It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!
Yep..................SHE'S BLONDE
ROFL!! I love that one :D
They Say...
if you play the Windows installationCD backwards
you will hear Satanic verses,
that's nothing,
cause if you play it forwards
it installs Windows...
lmao Train :D
My question is, how do I play a window's installation cd backwards? LOL
78 RPM of course. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by imadreamer2
Nah , that is a small disk, use 45 RPM.
Put a twist in the belt!Quote:
Originally Posted by imadreamer2
My question is, how do I play a window's installation cd backwards? LOL
For those of us who golf.
When I was married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said,
"Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a
sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep
every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed, and 55" plasma screen
TV,but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you
are not holding up your side of things.
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a
hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again
be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa
bed and no tv. Aren't older women great. They really know how to solve
your mid-life crises....
Excellent Poppy!!! :D
LOL, well I guess she told you. :D BJ
poppy4, why did you tell everyone my life's story. You promised :( :D
Awwww buf, geeeez.....I'm sorry.... forgot it was a secret.. :o :D
Not a problem!! I'm gonna email her the joke in just a bit. I think that will cover me ;)
If she throws you out buf, you can share my bachelor pad....you'll just have to come north and bring your long johns....:D
Weather here now: :D
Overcast
26°F
(-3°C)
Humidity: 63 %
Wind Speed: SW 18 MPH
Barometer: 30.15" (1021.7 mb)
Dewpoint: 15°F (-9°C)
Wind Chill: 13°F (-11°C
Right nigh neighborly of you my friend. About the long johns; is that the button down the front and/or with the trap door in the rear?? On second (and 3rd thought) I think I'll stay put, tuff it out and enjoy my warmer weather without the long johns. Of course, now if you wanna come south, we'll put you up----where I don't know but we will put you up(to something). :D
She and I were in Daytona Beach today and the wind chill there is pretty darn cool; only got cut twice on the arm. Gotta learn to wear long sleeves one of these days.
Thanks Kindly, but I'm already into something..:DQuote:
Originally Posted by buf
Buf that rather sharp weather.
12/4/06 Daytona Beach International Airport in Daytona Beach, FL
8:53:00 PM CURRENT
Temperature(°F) 57.0 Humidity (%) 65.9 46.6 / 93.8 0.0
Wind (mph) N 7.9 N 25.2
Daily Rain (") 0.00 No Rain Today
Partly cloudy. Lows in the lower 50s. North winds 5 to 10 mph.
Try here, it might do yah.
Understood poppy---subject closed!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by poppy4
Well, I did say I only got cut twice by those cold winds. Just for the record Train, I try to refrain from reading/listening to weather forecasts and current info. We had no hurricanes this year so weather has been a low key subject here. It is never too late for a h'cane tho and may it remain that way for always. And I don't want your weather EITHER!!!!!
LOL, that ain't no where near here.
Subject: Good things to consider
1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humour, you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. It could be a right number.
13. Think about this..., No one ever says "It's only a game." when his team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that in about 20 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?
(And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Mini.
19. After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.
Oldie but goodie
A cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known spot.
He sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly
glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look.
Then he sees a young man behind the wheel, reading a computer
magazine He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, knitting.
Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently
raps
on the driver's window. The young man lowers his window . "Uh, yes,
officer?"
The cop says: "What are you doing?"
The young man says: "Well, Officer, I'm reading a magazine."
Pointing towards the young woman in the back seat the cop says:
"And her, what is she doing?"
The young man shrugs: "Sir, I believe she's knitting a pullover sweater."
Now, the cop is totally confused. A young couple. Alone, in a car,
at night in a Lover's lane....and nothing obscene is happening!
The cop asks: "What's your age, young man?"
The young man says :"I'm 22, sir."
The cop asks: "And her ... what's her age?"
The young man looks at his watch and replies:
"She'll be 18 in 11 minutes."
Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:
"Two Prostitutes -- $50.00."
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying:
"JESUS SAVES."
One of the girls asked the officer,
"How come you don't stop them?!"
"Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled . .
"Their sign pertains to religion."
So the two ladies of the night frowned as they took their sign down and drove off.
The following night found the same police officer
In the area when he noticed the two ladies
Driving around with a large sign on their car again.
Figuring he had an easy arrest, he began to catch up with them when he noticed the new sign which now read:
"Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50.00."
or this one
Fire swept the plains and burned down the farmer's barn. While he surveyed the wreckage, his wife called their insurance company and asked them to send a check for $75,000, the amount of insurance on the barn. "We don't give you the money," a company official explained. "We replace the barn and all the equipment in it."
"In that case," replied the wife, "cancel the policy I have on my husband."
NEW YORK -
A public school teacher was arrested today at John F.Kennedy
International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in
possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule, and a calculator.
At a morning press conference, Attorney General Gonzales said hebelieves the man is a member of the notorious
Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the
FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.
"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Ashcroft said. "They desire solutions by
means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of
absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to
themselves as 'unknowns,' but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of
the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek
philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle.'
'When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had
wanted us to have better Weapons of Math Instruction, He would have given us
more fingers and toes." White House aides told reporters they could not
recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.
ROFL- love it...ainnt it the truth... :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by igual
This is a true story, told to me by my co-worker :) I thought this was funny, and hopefully you will, too.
My co-worker recently adopted a rescue border collie. He now has two border collies, his 2 year old female, and the new 8 month old border collie pup.
Recently, his wife had a TV tray out and had some salsa and chips on it. She left the room briefly, and when she came back...the salsa was all gone! Yep, the new pup was responsible for it. Luckily for them all, the pup didn't get an upset tummy from it. A couple of days later, the pup was in the back yard playing when he found a tomato that had fallen off the vine. He grabbed it, put it by the door to the house, then went back to the garden and picked a pepper which he took back to where the tomato was...we're guessing he was planning on making his own salsa? :)
Anyway,they're thinking about changing his name to Juan or Jose now :D
lmao GG ... too funny :D