Dear Doctor,

I'm a computer and I have a problem of twin personalities. One is erratic, unpredictable, can't get up in the morning, falls frequently, acts as if drunk, often doesn't play well with others, often breaks body parts, sometimes doesn't go to bed at night. The other is easygoing, predictable, likable, smooth, and fun to be with.

What do you suggest? Should I send one of my personalities to another computer or on a permanent vacation?